From Trauma to Triumph: Healing Birth Wounds and Reclaiming the Joy of Birthdays

There are some births that just stick with you. Parts of how it played out ebb and flow in your mind and your heart. Parts allow you to move on and other pieces keep you stuck, questioning, sad, triggered, thinking “I hope I never have to witness that again.” 

This past weekend I had the HONOR of celebrating! Celebrating a baby who is no longer a newborn - a baby learning to walk, run, babble, and delight in his surroundings and his people. I got to celebrate a dad who is an excellent partner to his wife and a compassionate, caring, and fun dad to his son. And I got to celebrate a mom, wife, woman, hero, warrior; who when I left the hospital a year ago I wasn’t sure what the outcome would be. Would she be okay? Would she make it? Would she make it through but be unable to have more children if she wished? 

A year ago a joyous and fun labor shifted gears and dropped us in the OR. Although sitting at 9.5 cm my client never got to 10 cm. We did some practice pushing to see if the last little bit of cervix would move and melt away with pushing but it caused her son’s heart rate to decelerate. At 10:52 p.m. we headed back for a standard cesarean for “arrest of dilation.” At 2 a.m. my client would be wheeled into the OR again for the team of surgeons to explore the source of too much blood. At some point after I had left she’d be taken to radiology for a closer investigation - where they discovered the uterine artery had been nicked during surgery. She would lose nearly her full blood volume. 

When I left the hospital the father had returned to the labor room with his newborn son to wait until they knew what was happening with his wife. I’ve never been more grateful that they had both sets of their parents with them. Four grandparents surrounded my clients with love. Four parents there to support the husband in his greatest time of need and vulnerability. I was also grateful they had made the decision prenatally to formula feed - this was a tangible act of love and service he could provide for his son. They had some colostrum that she was able to express prenatally that he could give his son. But they wouldn’t need to use donor milk or worry about the effect of the extra medications his wife was exposed to. When I was signing out a nurse looked at me who was privy to what was going on and asked if I was okay. She asked if she could come out and hug me. I gratefully accepted. As I was leaving two other nurses were getting off the elevator with a cooler of blood. I remember asking, “Is that for my patient?” “Yes.” I broke down in tears again. It was so much blood. 

I wouldn’t know until the next day that my client was ok. I wouldn’t know until the next day what caused her bleeding. I wouldn’t know that her uterus had been spared. 

Births like this take a toll on birthworkers. They lurk in the back of our mind as another “what-if”. They raise more questions than answers. They also harden us. Another plate of protective armor to protect us, to kick us into high alert to ask more questions next time, advocate differently, be curious. 

This past Saturday we celebrated. We celebrated a trip around the sun for the whole family. We celebrated LIFE. Living! I’m grateful to be on the other side. 

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This week, July 14 -20, 2025 is Birth Trauma Awareness Week. Birth trauma is interpreted by the person experiencing the event - and partners, birth support, and bystanders can suffer from secondary trauma. According to the Birth Trauma Association “Birth trauma is a shorthand term to describe symptoms of distress you might experience after having gone through, or witnessed, a traumatic birth. In some cases, these symptoms can be enough for a diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).” 

Locally here are some resources if you have suffered birth trauma.

https://www.katiefordcounseling.com/perinatal-support

Survivor Services at Mission Hospital if you have suffered any form of trauma, sexual abuse, or birth trauma and are expecting again. 

Appalachian Creative Therapy with Brit Klepac

Skipping Stones Counseling with Julie Derouen

Perinatal Emotional Health Network of WNC

Critical Incident Support Program with Dancy Perinatal - support for birth workers